Why Fight It?
What is it that makes our egos so influential? They are minuscule to the point of non-existence next to the juggernaut stars in this massive universe of ours. Yet somehow they are strong enough to make us want to live on longer than these giants through legendary remembrance or long, perfect and profitable lives followed by a perfect eternal after-life. But why not just appreciate how much more beautiful we are because we die? In my eyes it is truly romantic that something may or may not end, and how could we really love someone or long for them so much if they would be there forever? Through the hurt of losing someone so precious comes a new form of loving, one that can hurt so much but also become so meaningful that we cherish others with a new appreciation. So why are so many artists trying to make their art last forever? Do many of us not see our creations in a similar light as loved ones? Is it for our work as artists or is it ego rearing its ugly head?
I find myself looking forward to a charming aspect of summer and the vibrant light it brings. To my surprise, Blue Bells popped up in my backyard at my new home in The North End in Boise, as I did not know they were there in the first place. I couldn’t help but think how beautiful they were blossoming for such a short time. They were completely untainted by the mundane reality of everyday existence, and therefore exciting due to the fact that they would undoubtedly be missed. Naturally, my response was to try to paint with a similar aesthetic. Like many great emotion evoking murals of the world, I would hope these new paintings could still be cherished even though they will not last forever. If there are colors that won’t last forever, but radiate more light than other pigments, can’t they make beautiful art that can still be longed for and remembered after the paints fade? Why wouldn’t you stay with her as her radiance fades? Savor every last drop if you are lucky enough to taste it.
Rapid State of Decay
Much like the rest of us, the “Rapid State of Decay” series will become skeletons of what they once were. They are most vibrant on the first day they are finished, when the vegetation is full of color and the fugitive fluorescents glow so intensely before they have dried. I don’t find their limited time to be anything less than a thing of beauty, and perhaps a test of my own ego to create for the now and not for the world to remember me by. Though I’m sure the paintings will change or cease to exist all together some day, they will glow from their inner layers for now. I hope to challenge the idea of an egotistical drive for immortality with these pieces, and I know I’ll love them more as we grow together and our lights go dim.